Tuesday, March 6, 2012

The random happenings of Tanterd

Tanner has turned into such a little terd lately, so much so that the kids have changed his nickname to Tanterd. His new favorite word is crap. Cookies used to be the curse word in our house but now it's crap(mommies fault) and he finds a way to work it in to just about every sentence. I tried to threaten him but he just laughed and said "what, I got it from you". His favorite way to end an argument with me is to say "Yo Mama, no offence Bobo". It works every time because every one in the room cracks up. When he grows up he wants to be a tattoo artist. He said it's okay, he isn't going to tattoo his own temple, but other people can choose for themselves whether or not they ruin their temples. He likes to rationalize things like that. He is very a mischievous boy except he can't keep a secret and can't tell a lie, although he tries. Whenever he lies to me his face gives him away and I just have to say Tanner this is your one and only chance to tell the truth and he breaks down every time, sometimes before I can get the whole sentence out he is already crying. When he does something wrong or gets into trouble he comes to me to tell on himself. If I catch him doing something wrong I just have to ask what he did and he huffs and gruffs and then confesses all. For being the most high maintains child at the moment he is certainly the easiest discipline wise. When ever he has to see another Dr or specialist they always have a ton of questions but the one question they ask every time is how we discipline him and the answer is always the same, we don't. We don't have to. He tells on himself and then I ask what we need to do to take care of this behaviour and he usually punishes himself. The only time we have ever really had to punish him was impulse control related incidences due to medication side affects and we didn't even really have to do anything. We just let him know he was in trouble and he and Zander worked out the punishments themselves. Mercedes once told me that Oscar was the same way when he was younger. He told on himself and punished himself. The first time Tanner told on himself as a child I thought back to Mercedes' stories of how she used to handle Oscar and that's how I treated Tanner. He is 11 now and he still punishes and tells on himself. This never worked with any of the other kids, just him. Lately he has been trying to develop a rude, snarky attitude or tell off color joke to fit in with the other kids his age so I just told him that these bad habits will stick with him for the rest of his life and they would be ruining friendships and relationships for the rest of his life and that was it, he was so freaked out that he agreed never to do it again. Sometimes when friends are over tries the bad attitude but then when he sees me he freaks out and starts apologizing to everyone he may have offended. He hates to see others get into to trouble or have a punishment. Even if he is the one who told on someone he is always the first to try to get them out of trouble. Sometimes he will be more upset than they are and tries to help the do the extra chore or sentences they were given for their bad behavior. He loves everyone. He hates being sick and hates taking his meds but he can definitely tell a difference in his behaviour and mental status when he doesn't take them. because of his illness he had a fascination with breaking bones and tried several times to break his own. When he got a hernia and we tried to convince him that surgery was way more fascinating than a broken bone. We weren't sure if it was going to work because he kept mentioning that Zander broke his hand and got to have surgery to repair it. After the surgery he hasn't mentioned breaking a bone once so I guess we were successful after all. He loves getting blessings as well. he loves the comfort that he receives from them because in his life there are very few things that give him comfort and his meds sort of make him dull emotionally and mentally but blessings are still a very big comfort to him. Monday our home teachers came by and offered blessing because we have been having so many issues and visits to the hospital. All the kids lined up for their turn. After Tanner received his blessing he got back in line for a second blessing. he was so comforted by the first that he wanted another. He is very smart and loves to learn. He loves to draw and read as well. He is also writing a book wright now. We love him so much and we are very happy he is figuring out his new routine and is working his way back to functioning like a normal (a word we are never supposed to use in our house again) eleven year old and that he can have joy and comfort in his life again.

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