My daughter is ten and recently decided she wasn't a little girl anymore. She decided she doesn't want to wear jumpers to school or bows in her hair. She has also decided that she's going to start choosing her own clothes. She is our first to forcefully assert her "I'm not a baby anymore!" independence. We're dealing with it and she and I have come to terms on some things and we know we're never going to agree on others. At her slumber party I discovered that most of the little girls were talking about being tom boys. They talked about all the "boy" things they did and all the girly things they hated. The thing about it was that the girly things they hated were the things that most girls there age are growing out of like dolls and tutus and the "boy" things were actually things that most girls their age do like soft ball, soccer, riding bikes, and they were at a sleep over, the #1 girls favorite activity. After the party my daughter asked what a tom boy was so I explained. She decided she was fine with being a girl, but this later changed. She caved to peer pressure I guess. After that I started noticing all the little girls that come to our house talk about being tom boys and all the "boy" things they do. Even little girls like first and second graders. Then yesterday I was helping a seven year old make her cake (light pink with hot pink polka dot, very girly) When she said to Sarah "Well I used to be a tom boy, but now I'm goth because like everyone is trying to be a tom boy now." My daughters response totally shocked me because I was sure if she didn't know what a tom boy was then she wouldn't know what goth meant. She looked at the little girl and said "Your not goth, goth means you wear all black and you wear black make up. You don't ever want anything pink or with light colors. You have to make your hair black and color on your fingernails with markers and stuff. And your making a girly pink cake so you are not goth, you just think you are." It was a joyful moment for the girl in me. I think girls should be girls and should be proud to be girls! This whole thing got me thinking - When did it become a bad thing to be a girl? Are the moms and women of the world no longer inspiring our daughters? Are we so busy in our own live that we are forgetting to teach our daughters what a good thing it is to be a girl?
Oh, and every one of those tom boys at the party made neclaces, painted nails, and did cute crafts with all the girly girls.